Monday, April 19, 2010

Kinky boots and borrowed shorts

Two weeks after Mutxamel got out of jail and skulked off home clutching a very fortuitous point, Orihuela B arrived and were nowhere near as lucky. For three or four games now Santa Pola have threatened to dissect someone, and today, the visitors from one of the regions nicest small cities became the Marineros science project. It wasn't even close, and, charitably, 'Pola even allowed their opponents to score. In a season during which Santa Pola have never been easy to beat, but looking hard to criticise, probably haven't fulfilled their huge potential as a squad, Sunday April 11th will stand out as the day on which, collectively, they recorded their best result of the season. Unbeaten game number nine fell at the right time, as Santa Pola's confidence levels rose ever higher, with no obvious escape route from the the Preferente's basement, Orihuela's belief was heading in the opposite direction, all the ingredients were there then to give the division's second worst team a bit of a slap.

Quite a number of poorly informed spectators label boxing barbaric, to be honest though, with a couple of pugilists, the moment the referee gets a whiff one of the pair is getting knocked about a bit he'll step in, call it over and save quite a bit of unnecessary punishment. Football though isn't like that, the arbitro is compelled to continue until ninety minutes are completed, more often than not compounding a one sided encounter by adding at least five minutes. For Orihuela B, a decent football team with a knowledgeable technical team, the day started badly and went from bad to worse. Requested by a fussy referee to change their blue shorts to avoid a clash with the home side, Orihuela were compelled to borrow their hosts black change strip, there though the kindness abruptly ended. Not long later Santa Pola took those borrowed shorts to the cleaners!!

On a nice sunny morning not that many people turned up to watch, their loss. Santa Pola began as though they meant business and finished up being the business. They took the piss for fiteen minutes, before, on an unseen signal from an unknown player, went into overdrive and battered their shell shocked visitors with a style of play no-one in the league could have coped with. As it turned out, Orihuela B survived the first half a creditable two goals down, two being much better then the thirteen it might easily have been. Midfielder Emilio, wearing a ridiculously cool pair of football boots capped an outstanding performance with the first goal, combining good control, first touch and finish to set the home side on their way. A minute before half-time, Mario Fernandez added a second to create a little breathing space after a good work by Chema and Serra. Never has a goal been more deserved, selfless team performance followed selfless team peformance
for the Californian striker and his reward? a place on the bench.

Two up at the restart, the whole team relaxed and from early in the second half the three points were secure, the only unanswered question was how many were they going to rack up. Only an outstanding tackle in his own box by Pena, shades of the late Bobby Moore, prevented Paloma making it three nil inside the first five second half minutes. It mattered not, enter stage right 31year old forward Chema. This is a bloke who, just like Peter Pan, refuses to age and for the umpteenth time this season Santa Pola benefitted big time. As well as being one of the oldest members of the 'Pola squad, Chema is also one of the fittest and fastest, by a good 20mph. Not the biggest shock then that today he helped himself to goals number three and five for Santa Pola. Combine his raw pace and drop a football at his feet it's barely surprising the hardest defenders around shit themselves when they see him coming.

In between Chema's pair, substitute Adriano also got in on the act, a poor defensive clearance was slapped back into the box and in the melee that followed the 22 year old was on hand to shove the ball in. To the disgust of the yellow shirted defenders who claimed in vain the whole of the ball hadn't crossed the line. The assistant referee on my side disagreed, told the ref and five nil it was. I shouldn't be ungrateful but no goals against is always good, especially when the frontmen have banged in two and a half braces. With seconds left Orihuela B went and spoiled it by notching the final goal of a very one sided game of footy.
Full time Santa Pola 5 - 1 Orihuela B




PHOTOS:
Top - Eleven blokes who will seriously damage your football health
Next - Scorer Emilio's outrageous footwear
Second bottom - Chema, frighteningly good
Bottom - On the arse of  his borrowed black shorts, Orihuela B captain Rojo proudly shows off the name of one of Santa Pola's principal sponsors

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