Giving the old bag her P45

After a good twenty years, quite possibly even more, the time has eventually come to say farewell to a companion of mine who has shared all of my ups and downs, and didn't complain once because the latter heavily outnumbered the former. The best partners don't do they? Bless her, she's had to put up with muddy football boots, heavy books, a laptop that was far too big for her, (ooh I say), various cameras, sand from all manner of European beaches and hours sitting by herself at strange football grounds in allsorts of weather, not all of it nice.

When you first see someone you quite like the look of you make excuses to go back and catch a glimpse don't you? I'm no different, I think I went back to Debenhams in Ipswich four times before taking the plunge. Once I plucked up the courage, the pair of us never looked back and for years you couldn't squidge a fag paper between us, we were tight. All kinds of travel adventures soon followed and rarely was she far from my right shoulder. Thing is, the longer you're with someone the more you take them for granted and, more to the point, ignore their faults because, (you think), you love them. I'm no different.

With the march of time, people and feelings change, but only the bravest do something about it. That'll be me then! Thing is, it's perfectly acceptable for you to think, or even once or twice mention to a mate that she's looking a bit tatty or seen better days, but the second someone tells you that then boy are you pissed off. You know though that the rot has set in and it's only a matter of time. Somehow, somewhere, something changes and things aren't the same, however hard you think you're trying. At this point the eyes begin to wander and a guilty conscience isn't really an issue.

For Debenhams Ipswich circa 1988 read El Corte Inglés Alicante 2010 and a big old Déjà vu. Forty nine euros later and my old Nike rucksack was a thing of the past, replaced by something I couldn't keep my eyes off. At least I had the good manners not to road test the new one before discarding the old, even if somebody has spelt QUIKSILVER wrong.